Turn Stress into Bliss

New Blog

2011-07-03T14:21:00.000-07:00

Here is the link to the new "Turn-Stress-Into Bliss Blog" by Michael Lee. Check it out and sign up to receive regular updates automatically.

Holiday Stress

2009-11-28T09:44:00.000-08:00

Are you ready for all that lies ahead in the coming month? Maybe you need to build up your stress resistant muscle. Check out my 15 Minute Routine for doing just that. Also read about some ways to avoid the stress of the holidays.

Autoimmune Disease: How To Stop Your Body From Attacking Itself

2009-09-14T08:37:00.001-07:00

Great article.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

New Website

2009-05-10T18:05:00.000-07:00

Turn Stress Into Bliss has a new website. It is still building but already has a lot of useful information, stories, and tips. Visit and check it out and also sign up for the free e-zine More Fun Less Stress.

Yoga and Stress - Maximizing Benefits

2009-04-23T06:12:00.000-07:00

In my last blog post we talked about the “form” and the “essence” of yoga. This week I’ll share with you some key tips for easily tapping in to the essence of the practice. Following these tips will help you maximize the benefits and effectively use yoga as a tool for managing stress.

1. TIME AND PLACE – To get the most from my yoga practice I do it in the same place and at roughly the same time every morning. I make sure there is plenty of time available by getting up early enough to complete my hour long ritual each before anything else happens in my day. It does not have to be an hour. That’s just my preference. As little as 15 minutes can work as long as it happens daily and is a focused time.

2. WARM UP – I don’t start right away with trying to get deeply into the essence. Instead I spend a few minutes with vigorous movement and breath. You can just jump around if you want, or shake your body, do random movements or whatever just plain feels good to wake up your body and your breath. There is a section in “Turn Stress Into Bliss” that describes a warm up routine that I like to use.

3. BREATHING – Once you begin your yoga practice pay as much attention to your breath as you do to your body. Long, slow, deep, inhalations followed by relaxed full exhalations that are coordinated with you body movements work best.

4. PLAY THE EDGE – Remove all force, strain, and trying from your practice. Instead come gently to your edge in each posture using your breath to help you slowly get there. Some years ago I wrote an article on Playing The Edge that was published in Yoga Journal. If you are a yoga teacher and would like to copy it for your students, email me. It may help them add another dimension to their approach to yoga. I like to think of my yoga practice as “effortless effort”.

5. FOCUS AWARENESS – Once you arrive at your edge, practice being present physically and emotionally to whatever you might be experiencing right NOW.

6. ACCEPT – Whatever you notice, accept it. This is what is happening now and all that needs to happen.

7. CHOOSE - Decide in the moment how to be present to what is happening. You might feel an urge to move into a harder edge. Do you really want to do this? Choose. Practice making different choices and see what happens as a result.

8. PAUSE AND REFLECT – After each posture and again at the end of your practice take a few moments to reflect on your experience and what you noticed. In Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy one key element of the process is what we call Integration. It’s one of the key features of the practice that help make it such an effective modality.

All of the above tips are described in detail in Turn Stress into Bliss. Another good way for new yoga students to learn how to work with yoga this way is to find a yoga teacher or yoga therapist who can teach and guide them with a private session.

If you find this blog post helpful, please email it to your friends, students, or colleagues by clicking on the little mail envelope below. Also if you have any comments or questions please use the comment link below. I love to hear from my readers.

Yoga and Stress

2009-04-09T08:19:00.000-07:00

Just about everyone knows and believes that if you want to reduce stress you should take up yoga, right? Is yoga the new panacea? Will it really make a big difference? And what kind of yoga? And what about the millions of us who just don’t see ourselves on a yoga mat – ever! Are our concepts of yoga misguided or do we really not fit the mold?

There is no question that regular yoga practice will make a difference to one’s life and it really doesn’t matter what kind of yoga is practiced. For the majority this will usually be a physical approach to yoga and the benefits will in turn be primarily physical. They include better respiration, enhanced circulation, greater flexibility, and an overall feeling of physical well being. All of this will contribute to reducing stress. However, when the rubber hits the road in day to day life in areas where stress is likely to be triggered – at the office or at home – it just might not be enough to make much difference. Yes, you read that right! All the effort of getting to that yoga class and practicing diligently just might not prevent you from that angry outburst, that frustrated look, or that deep feeling of despair and helplessness.

Why not?

Well, for one thing you may not have paid sufficient attention to aspects of yoga that will make a difference. Let me tell a story about a yoga colleague I’ll call Vince although that was not his real name.

Vince began practicing yoga in his twenties and loved it. He worked hard at his asana practice and very soon became one of the most adept students in his class. Vince was also very short tempered and impatient but was seen as someone who was strong, and was always able to push through and make things happen. Nobody would ever describe Vince as a happy person. He had a stern look on his face and if you looked closely enough you could sense a person in emotional pain. Success was important to Vince. All of these attitudes came to the yoga mat with him. He gave himself two weeks to get his forehead to his toes in the sitting forward bend and got there with days to spare by pushing his body through the pain and practicing the posture for hours each day. He became a yoga teacher, and because of his incredible physical flexibility and prowess as a yogi in the physical arena, was featured in a prominent yoga magazine.

I met him on the conference circuit and over several years got to know him just a little. Interestingly, he had attracted a following of students who were in many ways just like him – driven to succeed and focused on attaining perfection with the physical form of yoga. Ten years after meeting Vince his conversation had not changed. He was still frustrated with many aspects of his life, still striving for perfection in all things, and still criticizing his students for not working hard enough.

To me there are two very important aspects to the practice of yoga – the “form” and the “essence”. Vince focused on the form almost exclusively and as a result missed most of the benefits that the essence of yoga might have brought to his life. Now I’m not saying that form is not important. It is! We do need to know how to work with our bodies as we practice yoga. But form is really only a tool, not an end in itself. As well as good form we also need to learn how to engage the practice of yoga in ways that take us to deeper levels of awareness at emotional, mental, and spiritual levels. If we are obsessed with the form of the practice, this is unlikely to happen.

So how do we do that? Check back here in a few days for the next blog post and I’ll share some tips with you. And the good news is that if you don’t get hung up on the form that yoga should take, you, or practically anyone you know, can engage the practice and use it as an effective stress management tool. You don’t need a body like Vince’s!

Teenage Stress

2009-04-01T14:25:00.001-07:00

A recent UCLA study reports that stress experienced in the teen years can have a negative affect on physical health in later years – particularly in relation to cardio-vascular disease. I guess this finding is not so alarming on the surface. What is concerning though is the significant increase in stress being experienced by a large percentage of teens in recent years.

As a father of five over a thirty year span of my life I have seen the changes first hand. The life of an average seventeen year old today can be very different than it was for someone that age in 1985. It seems today there is more pressure to perform in many areas of life and not just academically. Social networks fueled by instant messaging and cell phones have expanded to the point that thirty percent of some teens waking hours is spent in cyber conversation. Throw in on top of this the usual homework concerns, getting along with parents, dealing with first love, dressing to be cool, a changing body and other issues and it's not surprising that many teens succumb to "over the top" stress. No longer does the home provide a safe haven and a respite from the outside stressors that many teens are facing. With this happening it's easy as a parent to just give up and muddle through as best we can. At the same time, and ever the optimist, I'm always on the lookout for ways to make it easier for my kids. As much as possible I prioritize creating or providing experiences for them that will help them better deal with all they might be facing. Some work and some don't.

I was in Colorado last weekend to visit my 17 year old who is taking part in what is called The Rocky Mountain Semester at the High Mountain Institute. I sat in his English class listening to him and his peers read poems they had written about their experience so far. Already they have been on two expeditions - one to the Canyons of Utah and one in the high mountains of Colorado in the middle of winter. On the winter expedition they were out for nine days, sleeping in snow caves and quigloos they had shoveled out of the snow pack, carrying their food and shelter on sleds and using skins and telemark skis to climb and descend peaks up to 14,000 feet in elevation. They wrote about this different experience of life and how serene and fulfilled they felt both during and after. The hardships endured in just getting warm and going to the bathroom in the snow at fifteen below, didn't seem to bother them that much and were rarely highlighted. Instead, many of the poems gave voice to a camaraderie not ever before experienced and a connection to others that gave them a sense of wellbeing and support. They talked about learning how to take care of themselves and each other and be present to whatever they faced. The poems were eloquent and deep and clearly not influenced by anything other than the spirit of the poet. For two months they have been without a cell phone, and have very limited (and slow) internet access. On their main campus they sleep in a small cabin with nine others and wake several times a night to fuel the wood stove that heats it. I couldn't help but notice how alive and happy they all appeared. I have never seen my son so full of life and so comfortable with his surroundings, friends, schoolwork, and the leadership skills he's developing. There was no overwhelming stress here.

I began to ask myself a question. How could I create at home, an environment that produced a similar feel? And then I realized I was discrediting my son, his colleagues, and the faculty by even asking the question. Why? Because each one of them had pro-actively created what they were experiencing. It didn't just happen by chance and it was not my job to try to create it for anyone other than myself somewhere else. In my conversation with my son before I left this became more apparent as he told me how he had changed. He was learning how to create his world the way he wanted it regardless of where in the wider world he might find himself. He was being given the tools to help him do it, but no one was doing it for him. At present he was fortunate to be in the company of others doing it too but knowing that he will be ready to go solo when the time comes.

I left feeling like a burden had been lifted from my shoulders and that my son was becoming equipped to handle whatever stress or problems might come his way in life. This felt so much more powerful to me than my trying to shelter him from these things. As a fellow parent, you might want to ask what experiences you might be able to offer to your teen - ones that can empower them to deal with the stress and the complexities of life that are bound to come their way.

As well as great programs like the one at High Mountain Institute, there are many other resources available. Check out listings for summer camps that offer a leadership component. Look for nature and wilderness experiences that use the backdrop of nature as a tool for empowerment. At a more basic level, many yoga or martial arts programs for teens offer components that support them in developing the strengths to handle adversity.

Here are two additional links

Appalachian Mountain Club Teen Wilderness Adventures

Northwaters Wilderness Program

Work Stress

2009-03-26T12:17:00.001-07:00

Stress in the workplace is common for many of us these days. As organizations strive to adapt to a changing economy, the level of work stress increases. Is job stress something we just have to live with now? Or is it something we can control? Isn't there an ideal job with no stress at all?

Yesterday at my local airport I had the privilege of meeting face to face a woman by the name of Carol Pilon. Carol is no ordinary person. Her profession is wing walking! Yep, that's right! She walks on the wings of an airplane in flight and actually stays there standing on the wing and doing tricks while the pilot pushes the airplane through an aerobatic routine including loops and inversions. This is no ordinary job and I would imagine it's the kind of job that would push job stress beyond any known limits for most of us. But not for Carol. Of course there is some stress involved. Yesterday she was training a new pilot for some upcoming airshows. Everything has to work just right for her routine to work and to ensure a safe completion so efforts have to be made to get it right. That goes with just about every human endeavor. So why am I telling you about Carol?

Well, if Carol can do the job she does and not experience the kind of job stress that pushes her personal stress level over the top, then why can't we? If the worst we have to deal with is some ornery co-worker, then what's the problem? At least our life is not on the line! I guess what I'm saying is this. It's often not the job that causes the job stress but how we relate to the job that causes the stress. If you watched Carol prepare for an airshow you would probably say there is a good level of stress there in the workplace. But it is stress that people like Carol can handle and even thrive upon. So what's the secret?

First and foremost, Carol loves what she does. If you are in a job that you hate, the chances are you will experience work stress. And I can just hear some of my readers saying right now "Well that's OK to say but what can I do about it? I can't just quit this job because I hate it. In these tough times, I might not find another!" And I totally understand. But if that is the case you still have choice. You do have the choice to explore other options and you also have the choice to adapt and find ways to make your job less stressful and more fun. If you choose the latter option, here are some tips that might help. And even if you love your job, these tips will work for you too… even for someone like Carol.

Tips on How to Manage Stress in the Workplace

Prepare for your day. Spend at least 10 minutes each morning for you to stretch, breathe, meditate, walk, sing, play, or whatever it is that you can find that shifts your energy and your mind from a "Damn! Another day!" to "OK day… here I am! Open and ready!"
Don't take it personally! When stuff comes up on the job and you find criticism and nasty comments floating around as often happens with workplace stress, just let it roll off. You can even visualize the yucky stuff that comes your way just washing right off your body as soon as it arrives.
Smile a lot! Find a good reason at least every half hour to show the happy face. It's hard to smile and feel stressed at the same time so for at least a few seconds here and there you will be stress free if you can do this one.
Breathe! Yes, the old faithful. A deep slow and full inhale followed by big exhale will work wonders to shift how you respond to what's going on around you. Every time you feel the tension building, take a breath break.
Keep open to the possibility of a major change. Other jobs are out there. Keep your eyes and ears open and don't stop dreaming about the job you really want and the one you would love. Hey… what about wing walking?

Oh... click here for a pic of Carol doing her thing.

STRESS and FEAR

2009-03-08T08:02:00.001-07:00

Fear of something, no matter what it is, can be a source of stress. And it's often very different for each of us. For a teenage girl I worked with this week, it was fear of flying. For my wife, it's fear of supermarkets. How do we deal with these so called "little fears"?

It's been said that we shouldn't sweat the petty stuff, but that's easier said than done. There are various approaches ranging from "embracing the beast" to "turning and running".

This week I had the pleasure of leading an Introduction to Aviation Week for ten students from a nearby private high school. Flying is one of my passions and so it was a great chance for me to give back something I've gained from my 20 or so years of flying airplanes. On the first day I asked them why they had chosen this particular option as part of their Pro Vita (for life) program. The responses were varied and many talked about the adventure and excitement that went with taking to the air. For Victoria though it was very different. She said she was afraid of flying. Terrified, in fact. She talked about the physical reactions in her body every time she set foot on a plane to go anywhere. She had decided that by learning more about airplanes and even getting to fly one, could be one way she would overcome it.

On the first day we went flying. The weather was not the best and it was pretty bumpy aloft. Victoria let out a scream or two as the airplane bounced around. I began to wonder if this "self therapy" she had prescribed for herself might not work out. By the third day she was much more relaxed and was beginning to enjoy the experience. By the last day of the program she was ecstatic as she took the controls and actually flew the airplane herself. In her evaluation she wrote: "Taking this course has taught me not to be afraid anymore. Because I faced my fear and allowed myself to embrace the rawest form of flying I will probably experience, I am no longer worried!" Victoria had truly "embraced the beast and tamed it".

Lori really hates supermarkets and when in one for any length of time beyond a few minutes, she experiences stress related symptoms. She feels nauseous, light headed, and unstable on her legs. If she pushes through these symptoms, she then gets a headache and by the time she gets to the checkout she's often feeling like throwing up. For many years she's tried to overcome it by "just doing it anyway". As a small child from a large family, she went several times a week to the several different supermarkets with her mother for prolonged shopping experiences armed with coupons and lists. She hated it. She felt very small inside the big store and the array of stuff on the shelves was overwhelming. The fear of not getting the best bargain was ever present and the high powered fluorescent lights tended to make her feel sick in the stomach. Every time she left a store, she inwardly wished it might be the last time she'd ever have to go into one. On the other hand, I love supermarkets. I read labels and spend additional time seeking out new products to try. I enjoy looking for the bargains, chat with the guy at the seafood counter, talk to people I meet, and generally come away feeling pleased with the experience. So in our family it's a no-brainer. I do most of the grocery shopping each week and have done for years. One of the most loving things I can do for my wife is to reassure her that she doesn't have to step foot in a supermarket again if she doesn't want to. This "stay away from the damned tiger at all costs" strategy works just fine for her.

This weekend we changed the clocks forward one hour for the return to daylight saving time. I couldn't help but notice how I chose to "hug the tiger" on Saturday night. Before going to bed I made sure all the clocks were changed, remembering how in years past when waiting until the next day to change some of the clocks and forgetting to change others, I had managed to create some panic next day around us knowing what time it really was. For me, I find that when I notice the urge to procrastinate and then consciously choose not to, it makes for a less stressful time ahead.

In these examples I have outlined above there are three common elements. They are: Awareness, Choice, and Action. If you want to know more about these in more detail there is a chapter on each in my book Turn Stress Into Bliss. To shortcut though, you can ask yourself these questions: "What are the little fears (tigers) in my life?" "What are my choices with each?" "What action do I want to take?"

So what DO you do with your "tigers" in life? What works and what doesn't?

Please pass this blog on to others if you feel it might serve them. Cheers for now.

Am I stressed?

2009-02-27T05:40:00.001-08:00

I often get asked questions like "What is stress?", "How would I know if I am stressed or not?", and my favorite, "What's the definition of stress?" That last one is usually asked by someone who likes to figure things out. If they can just get a solid scientific definition, they'll be able to figure it out. Well that may be true, but I prefer a much simpler approach. Whenever I get asked these questions, I usually don't answer them. Instead I ask a question of my own. One which I've found very reliable in helping someone determine if they are stressed or not.

And that question is: "Tell me about the last time you had REAL FUN?"

Go ahead – think about your answer to that question before reading further.

Responses vary. Some people immediately smile and begin to tell me about some exciting adventure or some hilarious recent episode in their life. Others have to think about it for a while before remembering an event. A few look blank and can't remember any recent fun. And a few others glare at me and demand, "Can you define for me what you mean by fun?"

Fun is not exactly the same as bliss but it's in the same family. If you are stressed out, bliss will be hard to come by, and often fun will be scarce as well. So if your answer to that question didn't immediately make you smile as you recalled a recent fun memory, you might want to ask this question. "What's in the way of me having more fun in my life?"

Now in answer to that question, many folks will blame someone or something as being responsible for their lack of fun. It might be a spouse, a job, kids, time, the economy, life in general, or any number of good causes worthy of taking the hit. If your answer included any of these you need to ask this one. "What do I need to do to create fun in my life and why am I letting my excuse stop me?"

Often stress and lack of fun come from the same source. We are not managing our lives but instead are being swept down the stream of life by a tide of circumstance. If this applies to you and you are aware of it, you are way ahead of the game. Many people are not.

If you are aware and you want to change it, here are some tips for dealing with stress in your life.

First, don't rush to a solution. Instead follow this process to find one. Too often we take drastic and immediate action to change things and sometimes create more stress as a result. Instead, make some time, and take some time, on a daily basis to do some reflection – even if it's only 10 minutes a day.

Sit in a quiet place and begin by emptying your mind. Close your eyes and focus on your breath and simply sit for a while you as you breathe in and out. Just notice your breath, nothing else. If you start thinking about anything, notice that it happened and then come immediately back to your breath. After 10 minutes of this, take your journal (buy one today if you don't already have one) and write your answers to these questions. "What do I notice about myself and my life? What's working for me? What's not working? What would I like to change?"

The very best answers to these big questions will come after you've sat in stillness and relaxed for a while. The very worst answers will come when you are stressed, angry, fearful, or busy. Cheers!

Do this every day for a week and on the last day of the week read back what you've written and ask "What have I learned this week?" Write about that.

You may have to repeat this process a few times but at some point you will get increased clarity and a firmer commitment to make some changes that will be better for you. You will be the one to begin removing stress from your life and having fun again. Try it, even if you think your are on top of everything.

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Marriage Stress

2009-02-23T08:15:00.001-08:00

I've heard it said that stress in relationships is a seasonal thing. For some of us the holidays tend to bring things to a head but for others it's the post holiday let down and post Valentines affect that does it. After all, no matter how well we did the Valentine affection giving, to let him or her know how much we cared, there is still that lingering feeling for those of us in long term commitments that "the lovin' just ain't what it used to be when we first got together." On top of that, at this time of year the days tend to follow a pattern and one without a whole lot of excitement.

Each day is often a repeat of the routine of the day before. Also, this year is also tougher for most than years gone by. A December survey by the Pew Research Center tells us that 85% of Americans have recently made personal spending cutbacks. I'm sure that has led to many conversations in many households about money. And I know that in my relationship, that can sometimes be a touchy topic.

Regardless of the surveys, our day to day routines, or other triggers that might lead us to believe our relationship is in a rut, we occasionally get to the point of knowing that we either need to do something to re-energize our marriage or consider the alternatives.

We got to that point sometime last fall. I can't even remember now what the trigger was but we decided we needed to do something to help re-create the closeness we both felt was not quite there like we wanted it.

In our twenty-two years together we'd had times like this before and come through to the other side so we didn't panic. At the same time neither of us felt like going to couples therapy. We'd been there and done that, and while it was of some help, we felt there had to be an easier way. Maybe a home study program, or some CD's, or a book we could share. I searched on-line and after reviewing the various options settled on a "Marriage Fitness" program offered by Mort Fertel. ( I kind of liked the sound of his name and the program description seemed to fit our values.)

We started with his free CD, and liked what we heard so ordered the set. We set aside a time each day to listen to a track or two and to decide on our "homework". We learned many things but probably the most significant was that the quality of our relationship was well within our control and that we really needed to do some very specific things to feed it if we wanted it to flourish. Duh!

OK, we might have known that if we'd taken the time to think about it. But what we didn't know was some very specific and well tested steps to take to improve the "fitness" or our marriage. Mort gave us some of those and they really made a difference. He also offers a "Marriage Boot Camp" using teleconferences. We haven't done that one yet but if ever we hit the rocks again, we just might.

When I look back I also give each of us some credit for taking the time to acknowledge a problem and take some action. This comes down to Awareness and Intention. To bring these things to the forefront of our life experience required us to be willing to "self observe" without judgment or blame and then take the next step. I'm grateful for my years of yoga and meditation training that I believe makes it much easier for me to do that. I'm also pleased that we are both mature enough to put our egos aside when we have a problem. We were able admit to ourselves and to each other that, despite our years of focus on spiritual living, there are times when we need outside help and need to do some more learning. It reminds me of a quote I heard many years ago. "(S)he who is not busy being born is busy dying." I just can't remember who said it. Anyone know?

THE STRESS OF PARENTING

2009-02-13T12:40:00.001-08:00

"When you think about it, being a parent is very much like a 90 minute strenuous yoga routine, only expanded into 20 years or more. You come up against all kinds of edges, find numerous opportunities to find out how to be present to what is happening, and find out a lot about yourself in the process. ….

... Parenting in the 21^st century is also very different from any other time in history. Only 50 years or so ago, we could almost predict that things would not change a lot from one generation to another. Not so now. Children of today, by the time they become teenagers, are probably much more adept at accessing information about anything, than both parents combined. Old systems of control used for generations of parenting, no longer apply. How can you control someone who has more information about everything than you do? It's a set up for failure.

Instead, parents must learn how to be enrollers and know how to inspire their offspring into playing a game of life that works and offers results worth achieving. "

THE ABOVE EXCERPT is taken from the Chapter on Parenting in my first book Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy: Bridge from Body Soul published in 1997. As I read it I realize that what I wrote about then, is not only still relevant some 12 years later, but is even more ( and sometimes painfully) true. In reading further I also realize that the suggestion I made then around how to deal with the many issues faced by modern parents, also still applies. Here's the essence of what I suggested then.

"…it's not so much what I do as a parent that matters as much as how I be. " p.161

And the good news is that I really do have some control over how I "be" and how I show up in my day to day relationships. For me, I don't talk to a single person in the morning until I've done at least 10 to 15 minutes of moving my body, breathing, and centering myself. I know from years of experience that this one simple thing makes a huge difference in how I show up. I also know I need to focus my mind and put my best foot forward. If I don't, that same foot will probably end up in my mouth before breakfast is over.

To me, part of getting centered as a parent, means bringing to focus all the love I feel for each member of my family. It only takes a few minutes and can even be done while washing face, combing hair or brushing teeth. I simply make a mental picture of each member of the household, and in my mind's eye, "pour out the love" to each in turn. It sounds simple and it is… but it's also very powerful. How do you prepare yourself on the inside for a day of parenting? Try my approach if you want, or create your own. But remember, parenting is a job that not only needs all the everyday skills you can muster, it also needs some inner preparation and focus if you hope to avoid or deal with much of the stress involved.

It's hard to believe that first book I wrote Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy: Bridge from Body Soul is still in print and still selling. If you want your copy you can get it at TheYogaShop.com

A big welcome to all my new subscribers who joined this week. If you like what you read, please do me and your friends a favor and forward this blog to them. I promise it won't take long to read, there's no hard selling, and each post will contain at least one simple thing that could make a difference to your life. My primary purpose in writing here, is to share with you some of the things (mostly processes), that I've learned so far in my life, that really do work.

Stress between Partners

2009-02-05T10:59:00.001-08:00

What is the main source for stress between you and your spouse or partner? Is it around money, or household chores, children or something else? As no two people are alike and have the same needs and wants at a particular stage of their life, there are bound to be differences from time to time that cause stress in the relationship. What do we do when that happens? How do we minimize the damage and get our relationship back on track?

I'm at the age at which most of my peers are empty nesters and are long free from child rearing responsibilities. Not me. I have an eight year old, the last of my five children, needing lots of my energy and attention. I would be lying if I didn't admit that, at times, this responsibility takes me away from other things I might prefer to be doing. The same is true for my wife.

This "dissonance" that we both feel at times, led at first to frustrations that seemed to be directed toward each other. While not outright blaming each other for our plight, there were times when one or the other of us felt the pressure and wished the other would take up more of the responsibility. Of course this was a futile wish. We were in it together, had chosen our life the way it was, and really had to deal with it. We also love our daughter very much and often count the blessings she has brought to our lives and know we are lucky to have her in our lives. We needed to apply our creativity to our "issue" and not allow it to take us down a path of increased stress and tension between us.

We sat down together and the first thing we did was to ADMIT that we had some difficulties around this issue. We took time to listen to each other tell their story about how it affected their life. We were careful not to interrupt while the other spoke and we listened with patience and compassion.

We then asked ourselves what we AGREED upon in relation to this issue and compiled a list. Here it is.

We agreed that we loved our daughter and that despite our age at the time of her birth, she deserved our full and complete loving attention when she needed it. We also agreed that we loved each other and wanted to stay married, even if sometimes we were jealous of some of our single parent friends who passed the torch of responsibility back and forth with their former spouses, and gained some uninterrupted free time every so often. The final thing we agreed on was probably the most significant. We agreed that we each needed some free time to ourselves to devote to those things in life that were also important to us.

Next, we decided to apply some creative thinking to our situation so that all THREE of us could get what we needed. We came up with a plan that involved writing up a calendar with "days on" and "days off" for each of us, as well as times when we would all be together, and also times when we parents would have a date together and are both free of immediate responsibility. All this was entered on our calendar for a month "try out".

I'm pleased to say our plan worked and the results are better that either of us expected. We both feel less stressed and more in control of our lives. We each get to do some of the things we thought we might not be able to. Our daughter is happier and gets the best of both of us. And we have a lot more fun, when we are all together and when we are not.

So your situation may be very different from ours and may give rise to very different issues. However the PROCESS you use to resolve it can be basically the same as ours. So here are the steps in that process.

ADMIT to the problem and ask you partner to do likewise. (Note: you may each see the problem differently but try to formulate a joint statement that describes it for both of you, even if you disagree. e.g. "We disagree on how much money to spend each month on our food bill."
LISTEN to each others story on the problem or situation without interrupting and with some compassion for each other
Make a list of what you AGREE on in relation to the issue.
Apply CREATIVE THINKING to come up with a solution that you can both agree upon to solve the problem.
Set up a ONE MONTH trial for your solution.
At the end of the month, evaluate the outcome and decide to continue or to scrap it and come up with a new and different approach by starting this process over again from the BEGINNING. (Each step is important so don't skip any).

There is one other important element that I did not mention but that is also critical to a plan like this working out. Each partner must take full responsibility for their personal well being so they can fully participate in the solution. Sounds simple but it really requires focus. For me to fully present as a parent, I need to do certain things on a daily basis that will help me with my game. Just like an athlete training for a marathon. For me this means morning yoga and meditation on a daily basis. It means eating well and getting enough rest. It also means practicing conscious awareness in all my relationships, especially those with my family members. Doing these things gives any plan I commit to, a high percentage chance of success. Ask yourself what you need to do on a daily basis to bring your best game to all the day to day responsibilities you have. Here's to Life! Let's enjoy it to the fullest!

Your 15 Minute Stress Buster

2009-01-21T12:05:00.001-08:00

OK, as I promised in my last blog post here is a simple fifteen minute routine for you. But first the disclaimer. This is what I consider for myself as the "bare minimum" to maintain the balance I need on a daily basis to handle the stress in my life. So I use this kind of routine as my emergency maintenance routine. It comes in handy when I'm on the road or like this morning when I had to get up and drive my teenage son to the airport at 4.30am and don't have time for a more complete practice. I find the best time for this routine is immediately after I get out of bed in the morning.

What you will see below is several segments of the routine with some suggestions as to what to put into that time. The choice of exactly what you do is up to you. There are several options for each segment listed in my book in various places, particularly in the complete yoga and meditation routine sections.

This routine is based on these ideas. First and foremost is the idea that it is good to get our blood flowing and air moving in and out of our lungs. Secondly, as our spine is the main energy conduit of our bodies, we can get all systems working better if we move the spine in all possible directions. Although these kind of activities (getting blood and breath moving and stretching in all directions) have a positive physical benefit, we can get double the benefit if we perform them with the utmost level of awareness and self-attunement. Detailed ways to master these aspects are also included in the book "Turn Stress into Bliss". Finally, there is the idea that we are in a better position to handle our daily lives in a more calmly focused way, if we set an intention to do so. So given all that here goes!

Michael Lee's 15 Minute Daily Stress Handling Maintenance Routine

Minutes 0 to 5: Jump around! Any way you like. The purpose is to get blood flowing and breath moving. You can do jumping jacks, you can make your arms into propellers, you can dance wildly, do scissor kicks in the air, or whatever. Being more of a yoga nut, I do squats with loud and deep breathing, I do a forward hang and shake my head while making the ugliest face I can muster, I open my mouth as wide as it will go and let out a roar like a lion and shake my body like a rag doll being severely mishandled by a rambunctious three year old. The aim is to move as many different parts of your body as vigorously as you can while breathing deeply and having fun. By the end of 4 minutes you should be starting to feel a little tired from all the movement. When this happens it's time to stand still and take slow deep full breaths in, and let them out with a "Hahhhhhhhhh" sound. (Falling out breath which is described in more detail in my book.) The conscious awareness part of this exercise is to observe yourself as you go. What do you notice? Sometimes I notice myself censoring my movements. Sometimes I notice that I am more or less vigorously than usual. Sometimes I notice myself trying to answer the question "why?" about whatever I'm noticing. What I like to do is let go of any judgments of myself regardless of what I notice myself thinking. I just say to myself "So what!" and come back to the exercise.

Minutes 6 to 10: Moving the spine in all directions. Backbend, forward bend, side bends, and twists in both directions. Do one or two of each and hold for two or three deep breaths at the edge with a pause for two or three deep breaths between each. Most any yoga book or my book "Turn Stress into Bliss" will give you detailed directions for these if you need them. Beginners tend to hold the positions for less time and do two repetitions. I prefer to do just one of each posture and hold for a little longer making sure to breathe fully and deeply in the holding position and when entering and leaving the posture. Again, practice with awareness. Observe yourself and use your observations to try non-judgment and detachment. (Both great stress handling tools that you can take with you into your daily life)

Minutes 11 to 15: Meditate. Sit comfortably, breathe gently and become the witness. As I don't find meditation all that easy I use a simple mantra. It is "I watch myself breath in, I watch myself breathe out" and repeat that over and over. If you are worried about time, set a timer. I don't worry about it if I go a minute or two more or less and can judge five minutes pretty easily once I do it a few times. Again, be the witness to your whole state of being as you sit and meditate At the end of your meditation there is one last thing to do. Set your intention for the day. "Today, I see myself going about my day………..(describe)". Make it positive rather than negative. For example: "I see myself going about my day with calmness and serenity" rather than "I see myself not getting into any fights today." Also don't forget to give yourself your absolute permission to not be perfect. Make room for not being 100% with whatever you might want to create in your day. Remember there is always tomorrow and Rome wasn't built in a day.

There you have it. Be inspired and do good things for yourself every day. And if you like what you read in this blog, please do me and your friends a favor by sending them the link.

A 2009 WITHOUT STRESS - A GIFT FOR YOU

2009-01-05T04:58:00.000-08:00

Wouldn't that be nice? No more raised voices, no more anxiety at work, days full of joy and happiness, no more money worries, and lots of time to do the things you love.

Is a life without stress possible? Can we live out our days without all the tension?
How great it would be to have some magic bullet (legal of course) that would let us reach this state. Does it exist?

Well the answer is 'probably not'. So then why bother trying? Well, I do believe we can make a significant difference. Sure, there is no magic bullet. Sure, there will always be some tension in life. In fact we probably couldn't live very well without a little tension now and again. But the kind of stress that slowly kills us, creates disease, destroys our relationships, makes each day a misery, creates headaches and aches and pains in our body – that kind of stress we can do without and we can go a long way towards eliminating from our lives.

And there is a magic bullet for this. Well kind of. It comes in the form of a gift we can give to ourselves each day and any one can do it.

It is the gift of time. Yes, time. In order to effectively manage stress in our lives requires us to take the very first step and give ourselves the gift of time.

How much time? Well that depends on how much you can afford on the one hand, and how committed you are to changing the way you manage the stress in your life. Like all gifts, it would suck if you gave yourself an hour a day and then took it away a few days later because you couldn't afford it. So be realistic. How much time can you afford to give yourself each day that you will not take back under any circumstances?

If I were really stressed out, I might be motivated enough to give myself an hour a day for a period of time.

That's what is asked of you if you take the self directed program "Turn Stress into Bliss" that is outlined in my book bearing that title and which you can buy right here from this blog. That program has been proven to work for most people most of the time. In just eight weeks you could go from pain to no pain if its stress related. You could also go from stressed out to blissed out if you follow the program all the way.

But an hour a day! That's a lot to give for some of us. So if you can't do that hour, how about just 15 minutes? Can you afford that? And if you gave yourself 15 minutes a day, how would you use it?

As my New Year's Gift to you, in my very next blog post I will outline a simple 15 minute body-mind routine for you.

So stay tuned, and in the meantime think about when you are going to receive this gift. For me and most people the very best time is first thing in the morning after we get out of bed. But choose a different time if it works better for you - as long as you get that full gift each day uninterrupted. That might mean turning the clock forward 15 minutes or using some other trick to make sure you get it.

Think about it. You make the time, and I'll give you the recipe.

Resolutions

2008-12-26T11:39:00.001-08:00

streIt's usually about this time of year when we start making those "New Year's Resolutions". I guess the date turning over on the calendar from one year to the next inspires action for many of us to finally conquer whatever demon seems to be keeping us from experiences of health, wealth, and happiness.

For some, things work out and new beginnings take root and eventually flower into bloom. I remember quitting smoking about 30 years ago as a result of one such resolution. Now I'm not sure if it was the "new year" part of it that worked or the $500 bet I had with a co-worker also trying to quit that really got me motivated. Either way, it worked and I've remained smoke free.

For others, things don't work so well. Like many, I recall taking out a new gym membership one year and swearing to God that I was going to get rid of that holiday bulge by spring, only to find April roll around with membership lapsed and belly intact.

So what's the answer? It seems sometimes our resolutions might create more stress in our lives and do little to change anything, so why bother?

Perhaps it's the way we go about it. If you are inclined to make them, here's a few tips to use that will maximize your chances of manifesting whatever it is you are trying to create in your life with your New Year Resolution.

KIS – Keep it Simple! Take small steps and make just ONE resolution rather than multiple ones. If you are a mostly activity challenged kind of person, rather than declaring that you will train for and run a marathon by March, how about taking a 10 minute morning walk on 4 out of the 7 days in each week?
Time bound it! This is important. You need to declare not only WHAT your are going to do but also by WHEN. Example: By March 31^st, I will have gone for at least a 10 minute walk on 4 out of 7 mornings each week during the first three months of 2009.
Enroll support. By all means tell people of your resolution as a means of cementing the commitment, but go one step further. Ask for help. Example: "Kids, I'll be getting up early to go for my walk and I need your help. When you wake up you'll find bowls and cereal on the table. Please help yourselves and clean up and I'll be back in about 15 minutes."
Pre-plan for the knockout excuses and inner conversations that will stop you. Example: "I can't go walking this morning because it's raining/snowing/ too cold/too hot". Replace this with, "No matter what the weather, I will dress appropriately and go for my walk anyway!"
Keep the goal in mind. For most of us we wouldn't be going for a walk everyday just of the hell of it. We are doing it because it serves a higher purpose. Know what you want and remind yourself when you are getting it. Example: "I walk each day because it clears my mind, calms my emotions, and makes me feel physically alive". And each day upon returning: "I feel clear, calm and alive and ready for my day!"

Go for it! Make that resolution that will change your life! Good luck! (Or shouldn't I say, "Good Management!")

When you Fall over the Edge

2008-12-20T14:32:00.000-08:00

Despite our best intentions around the Holidays (see last week’s blog post), we are going to inevitably fall short of manifesting what we might intend. Example: You are committed to creating serene and peaceful home environment during the holidays, but one morning for no “apparent” reason, you find yourself yelling at one of your children. The serenity disappears, hurt frowns appear on faces, everyone feels a little jarred into another reality, and you feel awful for creating such a mess with just a few harsh words. What do you do?
Well it’s kind of like spilling milk on the floor. You can’t magically get it back in the container. You just have to clean it up and let go of it. You could dwell on it for the rest of the day but would that really serve you or anyone else? Probably not! So if you find yourself in this situation here’s a simple strategy for letting go and moving on.
First, be aware of what happened and what you did so you can make a few simple sentences to accurately describe the event. Example: I was frustrated trying to get breakfast for everyone and John refused to respond to my request for him to empty the dishwasher. I got angry and yelled at him.
Next, accept that you got angry. It might not be the part of you that you like the most, but it does happen. There is nothing wrong with anger either. It’s a legitimate feeling. On the other hand you do have a choice around how you express it and perhaps yelling at someone you love is not your most preferred choice. You can make a simple statement to explain this. Example: “John, I’m sorry I yelled at you. I was angry that you didn’t respond when I asked and I could have just talked to you rather than yelling. Please accept my apology for the way I handled my anger.” (Notice you are not apologizing for being angry but for the WAY YOU HANDLED your anger.)
Finally, reaffirm and express to others your intention. Example: “I’d like us to create a peaceful and loving household this Christmas and the way I just spoke to John didn’t help. I’d like to get back on track with my intention and could use your forgiveness and support. Thanks.”
Remember, we didn’t learn to ride a bicycle by never falling off and even when we’ve mastered it we can still have the odd skid and crash. When you fall, just get up, dust off, and climb right back on – hopefully with a smile. Have fun and enjoy the Holidays.

CREATING CELEBRATION THIS HOLIDAY SEASON

2008-12-12T07:52:00.001-08:00

USE YOUR POWERS OF INTENTION AND CREATIVITY

Sometimes we become victims to the Holiday Season. Holidays come with numerous expectations from others and obligations we feel we must meet. How often do you just “go along” with all that’s expected? It’s fine to do that if it can be done with love in your heart and a genuine smile on your face. If not, then perhaps it’s time to ask the BIG question: “What do I want to create for me and my loved ones this year during the Holidays?”

EXERCISE

Sit in a comfortable chair for a few minutes, close your eyes, and ponder that question. Ask it slowly and several times over to yourself. Then sit quietly and see what answers arise for you. As well as reflecting on your answers, also FEEL them in your body. Your body is often a great barometer of your truth. If an answer feels good in your body, it’s probably right on the money.

Once you get clear what it is you want to create, it’s time to start planning to make it happen. But do so with some openness and flexibility. When I asked that question for myself, one of the important things for me was being together with all of my children and grandchildren for the whole day on Christmas day. As I started to plan and talked to my adult children, I discovered it probably wasn’t going to work out as it conflicted with some of their plans. My daughter-in-law was very understanding and suggested that if we changed the day to the day before Christmas, the whole family could get together for a day of fun and togetherness. Although I would have preferred the 25^th, I settled on the 24^th and got most all of what I wanted to create and with everyone being supportive. Communication and enrolling the support of others is the last step and an important one, in the process of creating what you want.

Try it! And Happy Holidays!

MORE TIPS ON BEATING HOLIDAY STRESS

2008-12-10T14:05:00.000-08:00

1. Take time for Transitions

One of the ways to crank up the stress level over the holidays is to go from one activity or place to another without any transition time. It’s easy to do. I know some people who feel obliged to visit four or more different relatives on Christmas day and drag their children along. If this fits your profile you might want to do a little “time management” now and make plans to spend some in-between time doing nothing. Or better still, spread the visits out over several days or weekend days before or after the holidays and use some time to just chill at home enjoying your immediate family.

2. Get outside often and exercise a little too

Cabin fever usually sets in at holiday time. We don’t get outdoors much and we don’t breathe a whole lot of fresh air. Just 10 minutes a day outside – either walking, skiing, snow shoeing, or just simply playing in the snow or watching your garden not grow will do it. And while you are out there try a little deep breathing. Get some of that beautiful crisp winter air flowing into your lungs and enjoy it.

3. Remember what the Holidays are about and show up accordingly

One family I know has a huge Christmas dinner every year. Mom slaves in the kitchen for days to make it happen. By the time the dinner is in the oven she is exhausted and cranky. Family members avoid the kitchen in order to avoid Mom. She does manage to pull it together when she finally sits at the table but you can tell she’s been very stressed and not happy for quite a while and it tends to rub off. By all means do the big production for a holiday meal if you can do it without too much effort and retain a positive composure. But if you can’t, then try something different that will give you time to be with the people you want to celebrate with, and to show up for them with love and peace in your heart.

Happy Holidays!

READ MY LAST WEEKS BLOG POST ON “HOLIDAY STRESS” below if you haven’t already and look for one more update on the subject next week before it’s show time for this year.

MINIMIZE STRESS DURING THE HOLIDAYS

2008-12-04T12:32:00.000-08:00

Most people, if asked, will generally tell you that holidays are a stressful time. We also often hold memories of great family gatherings, wonderful food, gifts, and togetherness when we think of holidays in years gone by.

What then, makes holiday time so stressful?

I believe it’s because we spend a lot of time DOING and only a little time BEING. The “being” part of the holidays usually happens when we are sitting around a fire, sipping hot chocolate, chatting with family or friends, and generally just hanging out and “being” together. The “doing” part involves all the lead up to the holidays – shopping for gifts, preparing food, welcoming visitors and so on.

So the key to reducing holiday stress is to maximize the “being” and minimize the “doing”.

This will require both management and awareness if you want to pull it off. First become aware of all the “doing” things around holiday time that create stress for you. Make a list. Then take each item in turn and decide how you can make each item less stressful. How can you minimize the “doing” for each item?

Here is an example. Our family recently gave up the idea of everyone buying gifts for everyone else. Instead we ALL buy a just one gift for each person. One person is assigned the task of gathering information from others on a particular family member and then going and purchasing just one gift for that person with all other family members contributing. We were surprised to find that some wonderful things happened from using this gift giving strategy. Firstly, a lot of thought went into each gift. In fact the whole family spent time “being” with each other in our thoughts, as opposed to each of us racing around numerous stores spending many frustrating hours trying to decide what to buy for each person. The plan also gave us more time to focus on other aspects of the holidays. Two family members were assigned the task of creating a Christmas Day ritual to precede the gift giving. More focus was placed on the part of the holidays that involved our “being” together and less on all the doing beforehand. Now, don’t think you have to follow our lead here and do the same in your family unless it is something you feel fits for you and yours. We each need to arrive out our very own solutions for maximizing the “being” and minimizing the “doing”. What do you think you could do that would work for you and your family?

Next week I’ll talk some more about other ways to help reduce Holiday Stress.

YOUR BODY IS YOUR FRIEND

2008-11-15T14:41:00.001-08:00

Below is an excerpt from the book “Turn Stress Into Bliss”. It includes a short three minute exercise. There will be more of them posted here on this blog from time to time but if you want the whole program, you can buy the book now by clicking on the book link to the right.

You body is a key player in overcoming stress. But before it can help you in your quest you need to become better acquainted. It is through your body that you will learn the most and through your body that you will be able to change most everything in your life that needs to change. So just like a carpenter who goes to the hardware store and buys a new tool, early on in this program you will need to learn how to use the tool you call your body. It’s been there for as long as you have been on this planet. It has changed a lot in that time going from babyhood to adulthood. It has protected you at many stages of your life, it has adjusted to your changing ways, it has also most likely suffered from neglect or over use at various times, and it has most likely also been ignored lots of times. The first question you might ask yourself is “What kind of a relationship do I have with my body?” And before you answer it might be good to visit with your body for a while to find out what it has to say. Try this exercise. It only takes three minutes.

SELF PRESENCE EXERCISE

Sit in a comfortable chair but choose one that’s not too soft. Set the timer on your watch, a clock, or your computer for three minutes and close your eyes. You need to be able to sit fairly straight with your feet on the floor and your back long and straight but not strained. Place your hands in your lap with your palms facing upwards and the backs of your hands resting on your thighs. Begin to notice your breath entering and leaving your body. Don’t try to make any effort to change your breathing – just notice it how it is. Then notice your body as it receives your breath. Notice your feet on the floor, your legs, your hips, your buttocks, your abdomen, your chest and shoulders, your arms, your neck and your head. Then notice what its like for you to focus on your body in this way. Feel it fully… notice what it’s like to be right here right now living in this body. In particular watch for any thoughts that might creep into your awareness as you sit and simply be present to your body. Remember that there is nothing else you need to be doing other than just simply being present to your body – right now. What happens when you do that? What do you notice? Continue to watch and observe for just three minutes. That’s right – THREE WHOLE MINUTES OF DOING NOTHING EXCEPT SIT IN A CHAIR with your eyes CLOSED, BREATHE, AND NOTICE YOUR BODY AND NOTICE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DO THAT – that’s all.

When you are finished you might want to write a few sentences about what happened and what you noticed. Use the comments section at the end of this blog entry if you would like to share your experience with me and other readers.

Economic Stress

2008-10-22T09:16:00.000-07:00

With all the talk about our economy tanking along with the very real effects that some of us must be experiencing, it’s hard not to spend a lot of the day thinking, talking, complaining, or worrying about it all.

Unfortunately the more time we devote to those things, the worse we feel and the less we do to make anything all that much different.

I’ve found myself drawn into the trap lately. Just about every person I talk to for any length of time will have something to say about it. Sometimes it’s in jest but the underlying feeling is the same. The tough economic times we are going through really suck!

And that’s true. But the big question is how to not allow it to stress us out? And the next more important question is how do we adjust if we need to, to make life great again despite the woes?
I guess what I’m getting at is this. It’s important for us not to deny the reality of what is happening but it’s also important to channel our energy towards making adjustments rather than wasting time complaining about it.

For me this has meant taking a good look at the damage done to my 401K and evaluating how to adjust accordingly. It is likely I will now have much less retirement income than I had planned on. That’s a hard pill to swallow but it is what it is and I’ll have to deal with it. I’ve been looking at ways to cut back on some of my spending and also exploring ways of maybe generating a little more income.

It’s interesting that once I begin to engage in these problem solving strategies I begin to actually FEEL better. My creative juices begin to flow and I even notice myself getting a little excited by some of the possibilities I’m brainstorming. As I begin to formulate ideas, I start sharing them with my spouse and family members and they too get involved. We begin to come together as a team and share the burden we face with that “we can do this” kind of attitude.

It’s been said that there is nothing like a little adversity to bring people together to fight a common enemy.

So every time you notice yourself complaining or worrying, use that as a signal to start shifting gears and moving yourself into problem solving mode. It’s hard to do both at the same time and all the complaining does is delay the problem solving. For some this can go on until it’s way too late. Don’t let that happen to you. Also, begin to ask others close to you the question, “What can we do about this do you think?” This way you are not shouldering the burden alone and starting to help others focus on finding solutions too.

7 Ways to Beat Stress

2008-10-07T10:44:00.000-07:00

This article appeared in "Good Housekeeping" and I was impressed with the information. It's worth reading.

7 Ways to Beat Stress:

Essential Vitamins and Minerals

2008-09-29T07:07:00.000-07:00

Last year my wife got Lyme disease. This disease has affected millions and is sometimes very hard to combat. Luckily my wife found a very good specialist in infections diseases. She helped my wife adopt a multi-faceted approach to help her combat the disease. Along with the usual traditional treatments, she urged her to strengthen her immune system and to reduce stress. Part of the program was daily vitamin and mineral supplements.

Now, I've been taking a daily multi-vitamin every day for years but didn't really know much about one vitamin supplement versus another, except that some were made without certain additives that probably weren't that good for you. Little did I know. My wife's specialist gave her a handout on some research that had been done of various brands of supplements. Apparently some supplements are absorbed easily by the human body (up to 90%) and are highly effective while others have absorption rates as low as 10% and don't really do much for you unless you take huge quantities.

Anyway, my wife selected the brand that was most highly effective according to the report and began taking the daily essentials along with some larger doses of the more specific vitamins and minerals that she needed. At the same time she took steps to eliminate as much stress as she could from her life and made sure she had plenty of rest each day.

We were both amazed that within a few weeks she noticed a marked improvement in her health. This was enough to convince me to switch my brand of vitamins too, and within a few weeks, I also noticed I had more energy, was eating less, and generally felt better overall.

If you would like a copy of the report, email me at: michael@pryt.com and I'll send you a copy. My wife and I were also so impressed with our brand of vitamin that we became distributors and will be happy to offer you discounted prices on these high quality nutitional products if after reading the report you decide you might want to use them too.

Get Outside and Enjoy the Fall

2008-09-25T12:35:00.000-07:00

One of the best ways to reduce stress is to get outside and take a walk. (Every day if you can.) At this time of year the fall color here in the North East is a great inspiration for being outside and enjoying what nature turns on for us. Follow the foliage report for your area and make sure to get out there and enjoy it. Here is the guide for Maine in case you have any vacation time right now. Many areas will be at peak here this week.

The Weekly New England Travel and Vacation Gazette: The Latest Maine Fall Foliage Updates

BEWARE OF THE EXPERT

2008-09-23T06:30:00.000-07:00

CAUTION: DON’T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU READ as an absolute truth, including material on this blog. There are many people out there these days that claim to have the “truth” about everything. They will tell you that their particular technique or system is the “right” one for you and will be your salvation. You won’t find that attitude here on this blog. What you will find is material that the author has found to be true for HIMSELF. That doesn’t mean it will always be true for YOU. What you can do, just like he did, is try it on and see if it works for you. If it does, it’s yours. If not continue searching. One thing that the author does believe is this: Each and every one of us can find the answers that will work for us. But at the same time each one of us is beautifully different from all others. So what might work for one, may not work for another.

A SIMPLE BREATHING AND YOGA ROUTINE TO BEAT STRESS

2008-09-23T06:27:00.000-07:00

Did you ever notice how your breathing changes whenever you are under stress? It does. For me, it becomes shallower and more rapid. When I’m not stressed, my breathing is deep, full, and slow.
I also believe the opposite is true. For me, if I’m under stress and begin taking full deep breaths, I am able to alleviate the feeling of being stressed. Now if that is the case, it makes sense that if we change the way we breathe, we will experience less stress. Like all things though it takes some practice. You don’t just all of a sudden become skilled and mindful enough to start taking full deep breaths when under stress. Your body needs to learn to do that and it takes some practice and some time. This week we’ll begin with a short morning routine that will help your breathing and carry over into your day and hopefully provide a less stressful experience throughout your day.
The following routine is one I use frequently. It’s my bare minimum of movement and breath on a daily basis and helps me maintain my capacity to handle whatever stress I may face in any given day.
ROUTINE: DEEP FALLING OUT BREATHING WITH BODY MOVEMENT
TIME REQUIRED: 10 Minutes
FREQUENCY: Practice daily, preferably first think in the morning on getting out of bed.
EXERCISE 1: Swinging Twist
This exercise is meant to be done with a “who cares” and a “let loose” approach. Begin standing with your arms hanging loosely by your sides and your feet planted firmly on the floor a little wider apart than your hips but not too wide, and your knees slightly bent. Take a deep breath and let it fall out. (Notice we do that a LOT and always at the beginning and end of posture or exercise.) Begin to SWIVEL from your HIPS - to the left as far as they go and then back to the right as far as they go and then back and forth, left and right, in a slow swiveling movement. As your hips swivel let your arms follow the motion and begin swinging in the same rhythm as your hips and wrapping them around your body as they go. Next, bring the breath into it as well by letting out a loud “Haaaaahh” as you fully exhale every time end a swing to either the left or right. (Notice that you are being encouraged to MAKE NOISES in your yoga practice. Sound is a perfectly natural accompaniment to body movement and particularly to anything you are doing that helps you to RELEASE any tension that your body may be holding. So go for it. Make some noise. . So you are now swiveling your hips left and right, swinging your arms across the front of your body on each swivel movement and you are letting out a loud “Haaaaahh” with each out breath every time you swing one way or the other. There is one more thing. As you swing also follow the movement with your head and eyes turning it all the way around to the left as you swing left and right as you swing right. Look back into the far corners of the room behind you seeing how far around you can look each time. This brings your neck into the exercise along with your torso. What is great about the Swinging Twist from a physical perspective is that it rotates your whole spine on its axis from the pelvis all the way up to the neck. Remember, a “who cares’ as well as a “let loose” attitude.
So keep going with the Swinging Twist for about twenty complete rounds and then begin to slow it down, taking another four or five swings to do that. Let it end by standing in stillness with your eyes closed and noticing your breath. Observe what’s happening now for you – your breath, your feelings, and your thoughts.
EXERCISE 2: Buckets of Paint
This exercise can be modified to suit your level of flexibility. If it’s too much for you as described here, simply modify to suit your body by lessening the amount of movement but keeping the same deep level of breathing.
Stand with feet a little wider than hip width apart. Bend forward and bend your knees so your hands can come to about a foot above the floor. Imagine that either side of you, just in front and to the side of your feet, is a bucket of paint. Imagine you are picking up a bucket in each hand by its handle. Raise each bucket up and above your head, standing to straight up standing position as you do. Take a deep breath in. Then as you continue to hold on to the buckets, let them drop back to where they were on the floor as you exhale a huge breath with a “Haaaaaa” sound. Then start another cycle. Breathe in as you lift the heavy buckets above your head and exhale as you drop them forward, bending your knees as you go. Continue for about 10 cycles then return the buckets to the floor and slowly rise up to a standing position. Be still with eyes closed for a moment or two and notice what’s happening now for you – your breath, your feelings, and your thoughts.
EXERCISE 3: Monkey Side Bends
Have you ever seen a monkey rock from side to side while scratching under each armpit? Well this exercise is a variation of that. Begin by standing with feet a little wider than hip width apart. Imagine your body is being flattened slightly by being pressed between two panes of glass and will stay in this plane as you move from side to side. Let you body bend over to the left side as you bring your right fist up under your right armpit. Then come up to standing as you transfer the right arm down towards you right knee and your left fist comes up under your left armpit. Continue going from side to side but there is one more very important piece – in fact it’s the most important part. As you raise each fist up under each armpit breath IN though your nose, and as you come through the vertical position in transition breath OUT through your mouth with a “Haaaa”. This results in fairly rapid but deep breathing as you “monkey” from side to side. Continue for 20 repetitions once you’ve established the breathing with the movement.
EXERCISE 4: Supported Forward Bend with Falling Out Breath.
Use your bed or a chair or table for support. Reach forward for the bed, table or chair and let your body hang forward but supported by your hands on the prop in front of you. For the first SURRENDER part of the posture, bend your knees slightly so that you can just HANG in a relaxed way without any stretch happening. For the ENGAGEMENT of the posture simply straighten your legs to engage a hamstring stretch at the same time straightening your arms by walking back a little from your support. You may also notice a stretch around your shoulders as well as in your hamstrings.
Bring BREATH into the exercise by breathing IN as you straighten your legs and engage the stretch and by breathing OUT with a “Haaaa” as you release the stretch. Continue for 10 repetitions.
Then, just hang again for a few breaths before slowly returning to a standing position.
And THAT’S ALL!
Do these four little exercises each morning for a week and see if it makes a difference to your days.

STRESS OR BLISS?

2008-09-17T07:52:00.000-07:00

The following is an excerpt from Michael Lee's book "Turn Stress into Bliss"

If you like what you read you can order the book online at www.theyogashop.com

What is Stress? What is Bliss?

Lets deal with the second one first. I have a friend who is a chiropractor and sees a lot of people who have chronic back pain of one kind or another. When he first sees a patient he likes to find out more about them so he can determine the best course of treatment. He asks several questions including the one “How long is it since you had some REAL FUN?”. He tells me there are basically three categories of response he gets to that question. Some people say something like “Oh, just last week I took my kids to an amusement park and we had a blast.” With these folks he knows that they will be easy to treat and the problem is most likely just a temporary physical dysfunction. Others might say something along the lines of “Well doc, its been a while since I had any real fun”. With these folks he knows there could be other things going on in their life as well as what is manifesting physically that could be contributing to their problem. Treatment won’t be as easy and may take longer. His third category is the most interesting. These are the folks that respond abruptly to his question with a statement like this. “Fun? What is that? What do you mean by “fun”? Could you define that for me?” With these people he knows he has real problems on his hands. They most likely have removed themselves psychologically from any genuine experience of their own life. They are probably not very well connected to themselves physically or emotionally and they tend to live their lives from their mind. They prefer to have their lives defined for them by an external authority rather than trust their own unique experience of life.

If you think about it, fun is different for different people. But anyone who ever has fun knows what it is. The same could be said of bliss. I recently experienced one of those magical days that will be unforgettable. When I write, I like to come to my simple lakefront “camp” in the North Woods of Maine. I have a beautiful view of Katahdin, the highest mountain in Maine, with the lake in the foreground. In the morning, the air was still and the lake was the calmest I had ever seen it. The water shimmered like glass. I was so awestruck by its beauty that instead of doing the next thing, I paused and sat down and simply took in the beauty of what was in front of my eyes for the next 10 minutes. It was so quiet and yet so majestically beautiful. Later in the day the sunset was even more beautiful. A real “Golden Pond” moment when scenery, feelings, and connection to life all seem to come to together in one instant to create an overall magnificent experience of life - a sensual and spiritual orgasm without sex. On both occasions, I was in “bliss” - at least according to my experience of it, and if anyone wanted to define it differently it would not affect my experience of it. It simply was what it was.

Now, I believe that my capacity to experience that bliss has a lot to do with what is happening overall in my life. If my life had been recently stressful for a prolonged period, would I have been able to notice the lake and the view? Or would my mind have been so busy with my “to do’ list that I would have not taken the time to notice, or if I had noticed, would I have ignored it in preference to rushing to do the next ‘important’ thing? Does this mean that if I am stressed, I am unlikely to be able to experience bliss?
Perhaps this is so. It certainly seems the chances of having any fun are much less if I am too stressed out to recognize a blissful moment or to be too busy to enjoy it. So what is stress?

My simplest experience of stress at its worst is to liken it to a “fish out of water”. Whenever we position ourselves in life to the extent that it places us in unknown and uncomfortable situations for long enough we become like a fish out of water. So in response we flap vigorously to try to regain what we have lost but trying to swim on dry land just doesn’t work. Something is missing. The water isn’t there. We think we can get by without it if we can just swim harder and faster but the result is the same. There is no progress and we don’t get back to where we want to be. Whenever we create situations in our lives that defy our deep inner wisdom and continue to do things that are not in our best long term interests, we begin to remove ourselves from the “water”. It can happen in very subtle and unnoticeable ways. It can also happen by doing more than we can handle at any given time. I recall reading a stress check list that listed many significant life changing events that we all experience from time to time and each one had a score so you could calculate your stress level. The way it worked was that if two or more significant life changing events were happening at the same time you had a good chance of being seriously under stress. For example a new relationship accompanied by a change in residence or death of a loved one accompanied by a change in career or arrival of a newborn or any similar combination would most likely be enough to put most of us over the edge with stress in our lives. Why does change produce stress? Because change requires us to adapt – to do things differently from the way we have grown accustomed to doing them – and doing things differently is not always easy. It can put us on edge. Remember the dinosaurs and why they disappeared? The climate changes that they had to face were too stressful so they died. They could not adapt. Are we in danger like those dinosaurs?

2008-09-09T11:20:00.000-07:00

To purchase your copy of "Turn Stress into Bliss" and for a description of the book, go to http://www.theyogashop.com/